Where will Your Next Step Take You?
The questions that started my quest to discover what I want to be when I grow up were, “What is my next step?” and “What do I want in life?” They are what lead me to become a Possibility Life Coach.
I was a shy, insecure young woman who married at 18 because I believed that no one else would ever ask me. It wasn’t until I felt I had to take my two children and leave the marriage that I started asking those questions. They turned my life into an adventure of an eclectic series of jobs and experiences that had me seeing life through new eyes.
Looking back over the past forty plus years, I see me moving from a mindset of Life’s not fair, I’m not good enough, I can’t have what I want, and living in the Land of Impossibility, to believing in hope and the possibilities of life. Yes, I have moved back and forth between the two mindsets, and even found myself stuck again in that Land of Impossibility. Yet I know deep down that the Land of Possibility is a much nicer place to live.
But I can’t do that! Living in that Land of Impossibility is, well, impossible now. It doesn’t feel good. That land is filled with sadness, anger, resentment. It is filled with clenched teeth, headaches and illness. And defeat and discouragement.
In my training to be a life coach, I learned that our purpose in this life is to experience joy. Joy is what tells us we are living our life on purpose. I want that joy in my life. Don’t you? And those adventures I’ve been on were well worth the challenges. They brought me a lot of joy that I can renew by reviewing the memories.
If you are still with me, the title asked was, “Where will your next step take you?” I ask it because in my adventures I have come in contact with some really cool people who live in the Land of Possibility and some really miserable people who are stuck in the Land of Impossibility. In fact the difference between the two is what led me to write my first workshop called ‘Taking Your Next Step’.You see, when my father was forced into retirement at age 65 he went from a warm, friendly, outgoing personality to a miserable, crotchety old man who was more discouraging to others than encouraging. Sadly, it seemed he took pleasure in dashing dreams and hopes with reasons why they wouldn’t or couldn’t work. It was almost like he was trying to make us as miserable as he was.
In comparison I met people, men and women, much older than he, who were still finding pleasure in life, sharing their knowledge and encouraging those around them to step into their possibilities.
The difference shocked me. I’d always looked up to my father. We even went into business together at one point. But the older he got, the more miserable he became and I questioned the difference between him and the happy elders I knew and met.I attended a seminar called “Passionate Longevity,” by Elaine Dembe, and I was awed by the stories she told of people above the age of 80 who were still vibrant and active. That included the difficulty she had interviewing a woman of 104 who was so busy, setting an appointment was difficult.
As a winery tour guide, I met many people above the age of retirement who were enjoying their life. I spoke to groups of ‘Older Adults’ who were busy and active and even still enjoying working.
What was the difference? From discussion with both groups I discovered the difference was the choices they made and the steps they took. One of those choices was to live in the Land of Possibility.
My daughter-in-law’s one grandmother in Japan lived to 105. She had survived World War II. I met her in her mid-90’s and she was a wonderful to be with even though we spoke different languages. A woman I spoke with after a talk I gave was simply a joy. She said, “Guess how old I am.” Her eyes were bubbling with fun. I guessed 65, 67. “I’m 83,” she said. I asked what her secret was and she grinned, “I just love everyone.” Heart opening. I’ve met other women over 100. And I was flirted with by a man of 96 who didn’t look a day over 67. He showed me his driver’s license.People like my Dad, blamed their misery on life circumstances and gave in to the discouragement. Yet my friend Sarah had to raise 9 children on her own, working two jobs to do so. I still see her at 86 dancing the two-step. Her joy in life and her attitude was a highlight of my life. And she was 10 years older than my father.
In my Next Step workshop I take people to the future to see where the path they are on is leading. One woman cried out, “it’s too depressing” and wouldn’t look. And it is depressing, if you think it is.
However, the future is something you can create by taking steps to make it a place you want to get to. Dare to dream the future you want to live into. Picture yourself surrounded by loved ones eager to learn from you and your stories. Feel the feelings of sharing your love and wisdom. Then choose your next steps so they will take you there.For people still asking, “What’s my next step?” or “What do I want?” a good first step is to take The Passion Test®.
I offer workshops or one-on-one consultations to help you answer the “What do I want?” question. The answer will guide your next steps.
The next Passion Test Workshop is Saturday, November 28th.
Email me at charmaine@charmainegrace.com and I will help you get registered or we can set a time to chat about Where Your Next Step can take you.
